Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Do you want to make progress? If so, then take each problem not as a challenging rival, but as an encouraging friend of yours, who is helping you to arrive at your ultimate destination.

A lot of people us the internet searching for fifteen minutes of fame I've been on it so long and so often I need fifteen minutes of Freedom

So long as we think dugout canoes are the only possibility-all that is real or can be real-we will never see the ship we will never feel the free wind blow.

Never by hatred is hatred appeased, but it is appeased by kindness. This is an eternal truth.

In the same way that men wear ties to add personality to their clothing, so too should women wear their accessories.

My adoption was treated as a celebration.

Justice and I became friends, though we were opposites in many ways - he was extroverted, I was introverted; he was lighthearted, I was serious.

Wine is a precarious aphrodisiac, and its fumes have blighted many a mating.

Personally, I don't tend to go into casting sessions. I try not to have a preconceived notion in my head because it just reduces my options or ability to find someone cool.

If you want to change something by Tuesday, theater is no good. Journalism is what does that. But, if you want to just alter the chemistry of the moral matrix, then theater has a longer half-life.