Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid says he will not seek re-election. Harry said he wants to spend more time with his family. As I always say, check with your family.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

A thing can be true and still be desperate folly, Hazel.

I live a grateful life, and the result is pure joy and happiness.

... an utterly fearless man is a far more dangerous comrade than a coward.

Unswerving devotion to your goals is success.

Seize every opportunity and make it great.

And I have seen people on Facebook with their real names and own pictures but fake personalities.

If we are to better the future we must disturb the present.

These are a few of my favorite things.

A person's strength is to know their weaknesses.

I'm a pretty big clothes horse. I shop for clothes constantly. I do so much shopping. I should go to Shoppers Anonymous.