She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.

Look, you're here to see me, and I can't go on until my dealer is here, and he's waiting to be paid, so give me some money so I can fix up, and then you'll get your show.

Hitler is an outcome of Rousseau.

It's our flaws who make us who we are.

But we're still in somewhat a Puritanical society in a lot of ways.

Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.

You see, I think negative emotions are always trumped by positive emotions.

She had more curves than a scenic railway

I live a very simple existence when I'm not on the road. Because when I'm on the road making a movie, I'm away from home.

First be sure a thing is wanted or needed, then go ahead.