She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

There's something quite special about a granny's house. Even if ten or twenty or thirty years go by, you never forget how it smells.

If you’re in a relationship and find yourself constantly using “we” instead of “I” - stop. You are more than your relationship.

It is quite as ignominious to allow oneself to be deceived as to deceive.

I've seen it too many times in Hollywood. Talking about a relationship in public can jinx it. And if you have your picture taken together, you might as well start packing your bags.

I accept that responsibility and ask only that I be judged by my performance as its chief executive.

Cowards cut and run, Marines never do.

There's a particular hierarchy in the prison - class distinctions, high-school cliques. You have to learn how to navigate.

Even Stalin proclaimed his love for democracy. We do not learn about the nature of systems of power by listening to their rhetoric.

Most Americans have their head in the sand about evolution.

You can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift...You get to choose