She ignored my observation. This generally happens with me. Show me a woman, I sometimes say, and I will show you someone who is going to ignore my observations.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Subjectivity is strange to Science, while Relativity is an objective part of it.

Courage is more important than to be deceived by shallow victory waiting for a delayed defeat.

Forgiveness: best for cleansing. Forgetfulness best for repetition.

Miracles need people as much as people need miracles.

You can't think and hit at the same time.

Light up a spliff and hit the strip club.

Live life to the fullest everyday, 'cause we never know what day will be our last.

Vision is perhaps our greatest strength.. it has kept us alive to the power and continuity of thought through the centuries, it makes us peer into the future and lends shape to the unknown.

I'm a runner. I like to run.

Nobody can tell you how to be a good wife or husband.