She looked confused. She looked off-balance. That's a technique I employ to get dates, and it always works.

Money can't buy happiness—but it can buy beer.

I had never liked bullying of any sort, especially when an individual acquires his courage by becoming part of a faceless mob. I always say if you need fake courage, get it out of a bottle like I do.

... occasionally I see rich-looking women on Rollerblades gripping leashes and being towed bodily by golden retrievers. That's my kind of jogging.

A lot of artists start out as failed poets, then move on to being failed short-story writers before they finally break through to the big time and become failed novelists.

Being a cab river is not unlike being a magician--minus the top hat, the cape, the rabbit, an the gorgeous assistant. But you do have an audience.

Adverbs and cops always come in pairs.

I was in the land of fakes and frauds and phonies-I felt like saying “Howdy cousin,” to everybody who walked by.

It's a funny thing about writing. You get so balled up in a story idea that you lose your perspective and forget that human being might read your words someday.

I've been broke, and I've been in debt, and broke is better.

I was driving pretty much the way everyone drives in LA, like elephants dancing on each others’ backs at a circus.

Love without pain is like the earth without rain.It wouldn't be the same, it would die to quickly and people would be helpless

People need appreciation from more persons than they need love from one person.

The thing you do with a boy it is to show him all the to show. Don't hold nothing back.

...freedom only gives you something to be sorry for.

Anyone suffering Downton Abbey withdrawal symptoms will find an instant tonic.

You confuse what's important with what's impressive.

A letter is an unannounced visit, the postman the agent of rude surprises. One ought to reserve an hour a week for receiving letters and afterwards take a bath.

Beauty is highly desirable but simplicity and usefulness are the overwhelming fashion of our age. Just because it's beautiful does not mean it's useful.

There will be beautiful times and tough times, as such is life, but if your heart is in it, then it is worth it all the way.

I sleep better at night knowing that scientists can clone sheep.