She looked mean, but I think that was her natural resting face.

I figured I only had about two seconds to live. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.

I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.

I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.

This was a true pants-pooping moment.

I had read once that dumb people didn't know they were dumb. They thought they were just as smart as anybody else. That was a very unsettling thought. What if I was really dumb and didn't know it?

Do not go where you don’t belong. I scoffed. That sounded like an invitation if I ever heard one.

A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.

That was when things got weird. You may have thought things were weird already, but this was uber-weird

Father of fathers!

Remember that businesses are made up of humans like you. They aren’t going to be perfect and they will need encouragement, clarification, and correction to deliver their best.

If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.

the possession of power brings on madness.

If every other Jew had a weapon in 1939, there wouldn't be a Holocaust.

I'm not out to prove anything to anybody.

He who possesses art and science has religion; he who does not possess them, needs religion.

I had to wait for someone special. Someone who would make my heart feel as if it's been trampled by elephants, thrown into the amazon, and eaten by piranhas.

My dad told me, 'Your movie's never as good as the dailies and never as bad as the rough cut.

I live my life outside of the box because when I die they're going to put me into one!