She needed help, but God was in a meeting whenever she rang.

Reality whistles a different tune underwater.

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak.

The beet is the most intense of vegetables

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.

It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful.

To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

There are no conditions to which a person cannot grow accustomed, especially if he sees that everyone around him lives in the same way.

Night brings our troubles to the light rather than banishes them.

You already know when I'm writing, so don't be surprised if it's short and dry, because I'm too hungry to write anything fat

Ask yourself, 'How did God bless me today?' If you do that long enough and with faith, you will find yourself remembering blessings.

You do not determine a man's greatness by his talent or wealth, as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage him.

A couple's first task, it has always seemed to me, is to solve the problem of breakfast; if this can be worked out amicably, most other difficulties can too.

Show me a frigid woman and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man.

Isn't there a curious elegance in how one moment passes into another?

Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.

Another world is possible, without the 1 percent.