She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Education is the key to opportunity. It's a ticket out of poverty.

The wars of the twenty-first century will be fought over water.

They who see through the eyes of others are controlled by the will of others.

If I'm not a jazz player all the time, I've at least been cued in to what I do by jazz.

The soldiers of Saddam Hussein have given them a lesson they will never forget.

For the classics philosophical insight was the product of a life of leisure; for me a life of leisure is the product of philosophical insight.

I've taken many knocks over the years but it has only made me stronger and more determined to succeed.

Jesus doesn't care if you feel guilty. Jesus wants you to change.

I worry about the future of this country for our kids and grandkids and America not being on the world stage and that vacuum being filled by the likes of Vladimir Putin.

(Finland is a famously introverted nation. Finnish joke: How can you tell if a Finn likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.)