She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Merciful death. How you love your precious guilt

Longevity conquers scandal every time.

My mother was a politician in my formative years.

Then I did The Tao of Steve and that was at Sundance in 2000 where it did really well.

At the end of the day, tech workers are not robots: they feel, they think, they have values.

Art needs to be socialised, and you need a lot of context to understand that, and that doesn't mean having read a few art history books.

Musicals are written and then rewritten. Those things used to happen on the road. Now they are done in New York during preview performances.

Having set one's family in consonance with the community, he should make his family prosperous to ensure the prosperity of the community.

People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals - that is, goals that do not inspire them.