Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.

The day we serve humanity, as we serve our mothers, we shall find Allah.

I felt in my bones that this universe does not explain itself.

Regrets are only felt by those who do not understand life's purpose.

My role is to set everything in motion.

I have never seen a beautiful painting of a beautiful woman. But you can take an ugly woman and make a beautiful painting of her. It is the painting itself that should be beautiful.

At least the fundamentalists haven't tried to dilute their message. Their faith is exposed for what it is for all to see.

I know the coaches definitely trust me and my ability to throw the football.

There is no more dramatic accessory than a perfect lip. It is the focus of the face and it has the power to define a woman's whole look.

I worked with young directors all my life, only young directors.