Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

There is an old joke that went around- it goes, in the beginning God made man in His own image, and since the fall, man has been seeking to return the compliment.

The Greatest loss in life is the loss of a mother: The second greatest, the loss of Self.

If a man plants melons he will reap melons if he sows beans he will reap beans.

I do not have a sense of humor of any recognizable sort.

The only way to find your voice is to use it. It’s hardwired, built into you. Talk about the things you love. Your voice will follow.

My music tastes are often 20 years behind.

Love is like life-merely longer.

They like their coffee like they like their ex-boyfriends: bitter.

Those who have come to the United States illegally should not be given amnesty or an easier path to citizenship over those already in line.

If tomorrow wasn’t promised, what would you give for today?