Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

New York lesson 1 - never look lost. Lesson 2 - forget hallowed silences. It's the right of all Americans to talk at the tops of their voices.

Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty.

Worthless persons appointed to have supreme control of weighty affairs do a lot of damage.

Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when you take it off it feels like it's still there?

I hate to lose. Hate, hate, hate to lose.

Morally and philosophically I find myself in agreement with virtually the whole of it: and not only in agreement with it, but in deeply moved agreement.

Are you kidding? That's the music of the spheres, commissar. It's beautiful. Like old jazz.

I have been writing songs since I was 9 years old, so writing has and always will be my first love and passion.

Enuff Z'nuff is one of the most underrated bands in the world!

The best thermometer to the progress of a nation is its treatment of its women.