Shouldn't every day be Earth Day? I mean, what are our options?

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Quite surprisingly the majority of religious and spiritual practices actually diminishes your brain’s ability to act out of rage and fear.

Rylan grabbed the seat of her chair and moved it to the side where Kade was sitting. She pulled one hand from his lap and squeezed it between hers. “You’ve got to have a little faith in me.

From generation to generation, lights are extinguished and darkness threatens until some one stoops to bear the torch.

Next to the joy of the egotist is the joy of the detractor.

Monopoly power is an illusion in any system in which free competition is allowed.

Radically simplify the user interface, reinvent it, enough face lifts! You can put as much lipstick on a chicken as you want, it's never going to look good!

I don't think you can really expect to win a hockey game giving up three power-play goals. In reality, you cant give up those and that's the difference in the hockey game.

If we are honest with ourselves and listen quietly ... we all harbor one fiercely held aspiration for our healthcare - that it keep us healthy.

Listen for silence in noisy places; feel at peace in the midst of disturbance; awaken joy when there is no reason.

You know, when I eat three peas, I'm pregnant. When I visit a city, I'm buying a house.