Show business is a great place to fail upward... and I guess that's what I've done.

I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up.

The best thing to do, if you really want to be good, is drink vodka all day, from the second you get up to the second they say, "Cut!"

I suppose there are a lot of people who'd kill to have my career, but I still feel like a fan.

I was a terrible actor, and that's why I got the job: I would allow myself to be so bad that I lowered and got down to WWF standards.

I don't know: Why aren't people fascinated by air traffic controllers?

Why focus on what somebody might think? Nobody talks [on TV] like people really talk most of the time.

I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't understand sarcasm, and they certainly don't understand my humor.

I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin.

I can't emphasize the immediate panic that would set in when I had to audition. I can't believe I did it.

I just don't feel like part of the fraternity of actors. I do geek out. All the time.

We have not given science too big a place in our education, but we have made a perilous mistake in giving it too great a preponderance in method in every other branch of study.

The value of time lies in its brevity. To use it effectively, you must know its value.

Truth is only relative to those that ignore hard evidence.

You keep out of my bed, ” said Danny, for he knew that Joe Portagee had come to stay. The way he sat in a chair and crossed his knees had an appearance of permanence.

In today's world, it is no longer unimaginable to think that business can operate - and even thrive - in an environmentally-friendly manner.

Our lives are fed by kind words and gracious behavior. We are nourished by expressions like 'excuse me', and other such simple courtesies.

The first thing I ever saw Bradley Cooper in was Wedding Crashers.

If we owned the property, we will be free and prosperous. If so they regain control, we will become poor

There's a dark underside to philanthropy. People who give a bunch of money are deferred to, even when they are wrong. The emperor cannot be shown to have no clothes.

Evil's lurking, I can see him smirking.