Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

No one here is allowed to die without my permission.

Where there is great love, there are always happiness and joy.

This has always bothered me. If "Change" is the only constant how can we have absolutes?

Seeing the family is a very important part of my weekend.

The doctrine that man is infinitely tough and resourceful and not easily cheated of his freedom to sin.

Designedly God covers in dark night the issue of futurity.

People who are difficult, whether they're getting their $10 million or $10,000, are going to be difficult no matter what. It really just depends on the person.

There are dangers, but only dangers if people don't understand where technology is taking us.

She'd like to model or maybe act or star in a magazine. Before she signs any big contracts, she better learn how to read.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.