Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.

I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.

I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.

What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.

Loving one another is half of wisdom.

After that, work and hope. But never hope more than you work

I got lost in him, and it was the kind of lost that's exactly like being found.

It's the things we love most that destroy us.

To provide employment for the poor, and support for the indigent, is among the primary, and, at the same time, not least difficult cares of the public authority.

I'm not tied to any particular political line.

God wants the world to see what God can do with his purchased possessions. So he prunes you.

Well, what I want them to know is, just like John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa, that's the kind of spirit that I have, too.

I had grown up as a feature writer, and basically my career had been in The National Lampoon and as a magazine editor, and I'd never been a reporter.

I'm coming back to give the people what they want.