Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

This is my classic story:I am unpredictable, like the rest of us.

To those who have exhausted politics, nothing remains but abstract thought.

Jose [Mourinho] was one of those guys on a surfboard who can stay longer on the wave than anyone else.

It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace Prize winner in his.

When introduced at the wrong time or place, good logic may be the worst enemy of good teaching.

Those who've been rescued from sin are best able to help in the rescue of others.

We must be instruments of God's compassion to those who are suffering.

The blizzard doesn't last forever; it just seems so.

Our age is one of transition, in which the normal channels for utilizing the daimonic are denied; and such ages tend to be times when the daimonic is expressed in its most destructive form.

The practice of architecture not only requires participation in the profession but it also requires civic engagement.