Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

As Americans, we must protect our humanity while fighting terrorism. It we lose that…they have surely won.

By the time most people say 'I'm sorry' it is already too late.

Follow your dreams, not the crowd.

That shot was going goalboundward

The function of a leader within any institution: to provide that regulation through his or her non-anxious, self-defined presence.

Film sets are great fun. Film people are great people to hang around with. I don't want to run off and be distracted by other things.

The miracle of the appropriateness of the language of mathematics for the formulation of the laws of physics is a wonderful gift which we neither understand nor deserve.

At a certain point my novels set. They set just as hard as that jam jar. And then I know they are finished.

Watching Bo Jackson, seeing his size, his speed, a lot of his abilities, really drove me.

I can never consent to being dictated to.