Since I was both an atheist and an absurdist, I had decided that the most absurd thing I could do would be to develop an intimate relationship with the God I didn't believe in.

As long as the government can arbitrarily decide which substances are legal and which are illegal, then those who remain behind bars for illegal substances are political prisoners

There is indeed a business like show business. It's the news.

I Used To Believe In Reincarnation, But That Was In a Past Life.

For years, reality has been nipping at the heels of satire. Now, it's finally caught up. I don't need to make this stuff up.

I had become an atheist at the age of thirteen, when atomic bombs were dropped on Japan.

English is my second language. Laughter is my first.

I guess I'm a spiritual secularist, if that's not an oxymoron. My paths of secularism and spirituality are the same: I try to do the appropriate thing at each moment.

People don’t like to be lectured to, but if you can make them laugh, their defenses come down, and for the time being they’ve accepted whatever truth is embedded in your humor.

Avoid internalizing society's sexism, racism, ageism - pick an ism, any ism.

Irreverence is our only sacred cow.

If it is nothingness that awaits us, let us make an injustice of it, let us fight against destiny, even without hope of victory.

True will is wishing backed by power

Just remember that those who feel profoundly depressed are those whose happiness is likewise intense. What's so wrong with that?

If you knew particularly what to do, it were not a spiritual exercise.

[D]ear...You just charmed the pants off her with that hunting trip!

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth.

There is a beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcised.

I have a lot of great distractions outside of acting.

An actress must be a woman whose emotional perceptions are true, and to make them so, she must have a fine contempt for any art or thought that betrays them for something false.

The military tends to be a traditional place. Traditional culture, traditional men are often attracted to serving in the military.