Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.

The streets of Vienna are paved with culture, the streets of other cities with asphalt.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and spoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

What I'm saying... I hate it when people let me down, when things are temporary.

I don't belong to anyone else but myself. I have to make my own decisions. Happiness is defined by me.

There is a violence that liberates, and a violence that enslaves; there is a violence that is moral and a violence that is immoral.

The goodness of your true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.

Brethren, happiness is not our being's end and aim. The Christian's aim is perfection, not happiness; and every one of the sons of God must have something of that spirit which marked his Master.

God is not a God of the edges, with a vested interest in beginnings. God is the God of the whole show.

Prussia: freedom of movement with a muzzle. Austria: an isolation cell in which screaming is allowed.

You can't always get what you want.

Those who still eat flesh when they could do otherwise have no claim to be serious moralists.

1,2,3, I'm at the Chelsey Hotel, like, Sid and Nancy, with knife, and two grams of candy