Sincerity guarantees nothing but itself.

Pain narrows consciousness; pleasure blurs it.

When Medusa looks in the mirror, she sees the Lady of Sorrows.

My passions have never jumped out of the fireplace and set fire to the carpet.

Retirement requires the invention of a new hedonism, not a return to the hedonism of youth

The sewing machine joins what the scissors have cut asunder, plus whatever else comes in its path.

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.

The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.

'Be faithful to your roots' is the liberal version of 'Stay in your ghetto.'

Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: getting out of bed.

Totem poles and wooden masks no longer suggest tribal villages but fashionable drawing rooms in New York and Paris.

Failure does not connote that you achieved nothing. It denotes that you are on an adventure towards finding what will eventually advance you to the realization of your goals.

We all thought of chicken as lean, protein-rich food that's good for weight watching, but the truth is chicken might actually be making us fatter!

If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.

Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.

I do my thinking while I walk. It just loosens up the mind in the way that you don't get when you are sitting at a desk.

Down that path lies madness. On the other hand, the road to hell is paved with melting snowballs.

My kids are my life and the thought of someone taking them away from me is my worst nightmare.

Let the soul be assured that somewhere in the universe it should rejoin its friend, and it would be content and cheerful alone for a thousand years.

A surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence.

Scorn not the sonnet. Critic, you have frowned, Mindless of its just honours; with this key Shakespeare unlocked his heart.