Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, 'I can hardly blame them. Look at me.'

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

New morning, new moment of miracles.

Money without meaning is meaningless

Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

Every great painting includes hundreds of imperfect brushstrokes" Ray White

Every building is a prototype. No two are alike.

To bring out a new technology for consumers first, you just had a very long road to go down to try to find people who actually would pay money for something.

Work without fun is like peanut butter without jelly.

It's always interesting to play people different from yourself, it would be boring for me to play myself.

The leader of the deed was a woman. -Dux femina facti

A day will come when the European god of the nineteenth century will be classed with the gods of Olympus and the Nile.