Sirs, I have tested your machine. It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long-felt want.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.

People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.

Cynicism is the humor of hatred.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.

The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.

A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.

I'll have that one, please.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

There is always room in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)

...each part of a story, each word if possible, was to work frontally as well as laterally... ("Conveyance: The Story I would Not Want Bill Wilson To Read")

She's like the rarest of jewels, too precious to be worn, and too valuable to tarnish.

Birds sing after a storm why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?

The experience of the self is always a defeat for the ego.

You'll never be a winner of souls unless you're first a weeper for souls.

what I think separates me from most philosophers probably is that I'm a bluesman in the life of the mind, I'm a jazzman in the world of ideas.

There is no such thing as a completely original technique or subject.

I don't know anybody that's not emotionally unstable or schizophrenic.

You create your future with the power of your intention. Intention is simply the conscious act of determining your future now.