Sisters ruin everything. It's in their job description.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Stay in church, stay in prayer, stay in the Word, and stay in fellowship with other believers.

If you get a second chance, grab it with the first and second hands. Never let it go till all is done and done well. Second chances come with the last graces!

Introverts just just don't buzz as easily.

How long is forever?Sometimes just one second

For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.

What is needed is an all-out science project to get vehicles off of gasoline, rather than off of the earth.

Because I work with so many people on the east coast, I get some work done before I get the kids up.

I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142.

I would introduce and support legislation to send Roe v. Wade back to the states.

Ideals are like the stars - you can't touch them with your hands, but by following them you reach your destination.