Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Time is a great teacher, but Cosmic Ordering is a great provider.

In modern societies, some members of ethnic minority groups do not want to feel compelled to heed the voices of their communities when participating as citizens.

The closer the genetic relationship of the family members, as for example father-to-son, as opposed to uncle-to-nephew, the higher the degree of cooperation.

Ideas don't make you rich. The correct execution of ideas does.

Underlying great doubt there is great satori, where there is thorough questioning there will be thoroughgoing experience of awakening.

You want to write a sentence as clean as a bone. That is the goal.

A new study says that over half of all Californians are obese. In fact, half of Californians are really two-thirds of Californians.

This has got to be the greatest school for lab bands in the country. It's great because Leon Breeden and his staff have devoted their lives - not just their time and talent - to build it.

Never believe a promise from a man or woman who has no discipline. They have broken a thousand promises to themselves, and they break their promise for you.

We have an obligation to make things beautiful. Not to leave the world uglier than we found it, not to empty the oceans, not to leave our problems for the next generation.