Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Life is a blank canvas, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.

Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.

There is hope for all of us. Well anyway if you don't die you live through it day in day out.

A military coup needs a sacrifice and courage that you can't find in an army without morale.

It is the path of least resistance that makes rivers and men crooked.

I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal. I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young woman squeal.

Don't be sad that roses have thorns. Be glad that thorns have Roses. Today's the day I worried about yesterday and it didn't happen.

PSH - I am genuinely shocked, saddened and speechless. A truly wonderful man, with a magical touch. My hero. Thoughts are with his family

I want to keep working with the best, keep going and be a better actor each time I go and dive into something.

There are many untalented people making millions of dollars in the film business.