Small wastebasket liners, $1.17 ... tall wastebasket liners, $2.29 ... garbage can liners, $3.98 ... I think I just spent $7.44 buying something I'm going to throw away.

Because the majority of my readers are women, I feel that one public service I can provide to them is to spread the message of regular mammograms and early detection within the strip.

Otherwise, my whole career has just been flinging myself at whatever is most overdue first and letting everything else stack up.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

I was going to sip on a diet soda, but a little voice convinced me I needed the extra calcium from a cup of hot chocolate.

The story of a mother's life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.

Imagine my surprise when, after a lifetime of teaching me to keep personal things to myself, Mom insisted my drawings were the start of a comic strip for millions of people to enjoy.

Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

— Why did blondes vote for Clinton? — They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

If a man realizes who he is, he is confident of his strength

I don't know how this can be but it can: A painting is both exactly rhe same and entirely different every single time you look at it.

The past, the present and the future are really one: they are today.

There are many who would take my time. I shun them. There are some who share my time. I am entertained by them.

Brokenness is God’s requirement for maximum usefulness.

The sky is the limit when you work hard.

The people has no definite disbelief in the temples of theology. The people has a very fiery and practical disbelief in the temples of physical science.

For me, writing Bridget's [Jones] stories is an instinctive, organic thing, which tends to happen more by accident than design.

As the most recently arrived to earthly life, children can seem in lingering possession of some heavenly lidless eye.