Smee! Raise the Ladies!

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Humans can be as good as they can be bad. Because goodness and evil both are biological traits of the mind.

Liberation of sacred souls connects to specific service.

Ghosts are some of the loneliest people you will ever meet.

You cannot tackle hunger, disease, and poverty unless you can also provide people with a healthy ecosystem in which their economies can grow.

The best way to get children excited about reading is to read to them from the beginning of their lives.

I think Hillary Clinton has just got to try to be herself. And she's got to talk about the issues that Americans care about, which is what she's been doing.

Who is sure of their own motives can in confidence advance or retreat.

I've always thought that less was a lot more.

I am infected with life and will die of it in time.

Sometimes the crowd is the madness - at others it's the absence of the crowd that is.