Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Book should go where they will be most appreciated, and not sit unread, gathering dust on a forgotten shelf, don't you agree?

Building art is a synthesis of life in materialised form. We should try to bring in under the same hat not a splintered way of thinking, but all in harmony together.

The score is still Q to 12!

She make me beg for it until she give it up

Love is two minutes and fifty-two seconds of squishy sounds.

The problem with using C++ ... is that there's already a strong tendency in the language to require you to know everything before you can do anything.

Why do I feel like something's missing in my life without them and they don't feel the same about me?

Sitting back in the evening, stargazing and stroking your dog, is an infallible remedy.

... what would Poirot do? Poirot wouldn't flap around in a panic. He'd stay calm and use his little grey cells and recall some tiny, vital detail which would be the clue to everything.

Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of Spring in our blood.