Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Every man or woman who loves Him, they hate Him too, because He's a hard God, a jealous God.

Becoming a part of a movement doesn't help anybody think clearly.

Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation a mental or physical barter to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods.

Heaven plants a special seed, and we must have faith.

A revolution is interesting insofar as it avoids like the plague the plague it promised to heal.

Snoop Doggy Dogg paged, that must mean more hoes.

I have not collected art. Art collected me. I never found paintings. They found me. I have never even owned a work of art. They owned me.

People tend to forget that the word "history" contains the word "story".

I'm very, very sad to say that the only Sondheim show I've done is "A Little Night Music" and it was when I was in college.

The only real and reliable guarantee for khadi would be honesty, truthfulness and sincerity of khadi workers.