Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Faith does not imply a closed, but an open mind. Quite the opposite of blindness, faith appreciates the vast spiritual realities that materialist overlook by getting trapped in the purely physical.

There is an optimism which nobly anticipates the eventual triumph of great moral laws, and there is an optimism which cheerfully tolerates unworthiness.

GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

Try to treat with equal love all the people with whom you have relations. Thus the abyss between 'myself' and 'yourself' will be filled in, which is the goal of all religious worship.

Sometimes growing pains are by fits and starts.

Drugs became an obsession, like Culture Club had been, like religion later became although I'm through with that now.

I can see Obama trying to be the president who suggests solutions for everyone who has experienced economic hardship.

They [illegal immigrants] broke the law, but it's not a felony, it's an act of love. It's an act of commitment to your family.

Most people who are trying to write kind of sit in their basements and pull it out of their imaginations.

The putter looks like a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together, but the ball goes in the hole.