So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.

I always wondered. If…” Her mouth was on autopilot.“If what, Ella?”“If I crossed your mind wherever you were.”“You don’t cross my mind, Ella. You live in it.” He tugged her closer to him.

I get to travel around the world and meet all of these amazing people, and they're singing my songs! And to me, that's crazy.

Rock is always about rebelling against the parents.

The desire to be different from the people we live with is sometimes the result of our rejection- real or imagined- by them.

You are connected to something very much larger than yourself. And that's a beautiful thing.

When you go into a starring position and you're carrying a movie, it's important that people like it. So I only do things that I can connect with in some sort of way, or that I can identify with.

I asked myself the question, 'What do you want of your life?' and I realized with a start of recognition and terror, 'Exactly what I have - but to be commensurate, to handle it all better.

Does age matter? Time doesn't matter.

The word we have in Korea for K-Pop is 'Gaio.' And I guess it's a huge umbrella term. Basically it's like saying Coldplay and Kanye West, or Eminem and Celine Dion, are the same genre.

My first poem was a bolt from the blue … it broke a spell of disillusion and suicidal despondence. ... it filled me with soul satisfying joy.