So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

In the hearts of men lies both good and evil. The two coexist. Some men become good, and others become evil. It is the way of this world.-Kikyo

There's nothing weak about beauty, child. The only weakness in it is if you think it means anything important.

There’s got to be some scientific study somewhere that proves your boyfriend’s sweater will keep you warmer and cure you of any illnesses a lot faster, than some Pottery Barn blanket.

I make war on the living, not the dead.

Above all, keep your colors fresh!

keep fresh before me the moments of my high resolve.

It hurts every day, the absence of someone who was once there.

We are the people are parents warned us against.

You have to understand, now, I'm a momma's boy. I'm from the south. My way of being raised is totally different than the big city life. I truly was a country boy.

The people of one county can not be indifferent to the welfare of the people in another county.