So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

Oh, sheep. I've lost all my sobbing colours.

Hem, ' he said, and I knew he was a critic now, since, in conversation, they put your name at the beginning of a sentence rather than at the end.

The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person.

Little praying is a kind of make believe, a salve for the conscience, a farce and a delusion.

Alexia abhorred hypocrisy, especially when munitions were involved.

It is worth remembering that our cities occupy important sites, and therefore some kind of settlement is liable to be there.

I inherited my ability from both parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not earning it.

Let us then blend everything: love, religion, genius, with sunshine, perfume, music, and poetry.

Of all the things that human beings did together, the sexual act was the one with the most various of reasons.

A pure heart means a single heart, a heart in which only one desire lives: love.