So, great. This is Camp…what do you call it? Camp Fish-Blood?”Aphros frowned. “I hope that was a joke. This is Camp __________.” He made a sound that was a series of sonar pings and hisses.

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies

Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!

We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.

Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt.

Percy is the most powerful demigod I've ever met. No offense to you guys but it's true.

Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.

Scrawny? Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.

Forget the chicken-nugget smoke screen. Percy wanted Leo to invent an anti-dream hat.

Otis barreled towards them empty-handed, before apparently realizing that a) he was empty-handed and b) charging towards a large body of water to fight a son of Poseidon was maybe not a good idea.

People who want to climb mountains just like taking metaphors for real. So when I say I could murder for a mangosteen, I hope you don’t think I’m going to go out and do that.

The more we understand the simplicity of life, the less complex we shall live.

The best is the cheapest.

I was trying to prove to them and to myself that I was still who I had always been. I was beautiful, if fat. I was smart, if loud. I was good, if ruined.

I was really lucky. My gal pal was my mom.

Civilization and profit go hand in hand.

Those who have prospered and profited from life's lottery have a moral obligation to share their good fortune.

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason.

My brother is not a girl, he is a gentleman.

I have rewritten — often several times — every word I have ever published. My pencils outlast their erasers.