So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

Hope is a possibility.

I can type faster than I can point. And my mother told me that pointing is impolite.

I was created by the all powerful God to fill the universe with my masterpieces.

The only person who acts sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. Everyone else goes by their old measurements.

In many relationships that I've had people just try to own the other person.

It isn't a question of enhancement through design. Whether an editor realizes it or not, design is part of what he does every time he prints the paper.

I don't prefer much of film over stage... The only thing I prefer is the paycheck.

We need to ask ourselves a question: Do we trust God? Is he not the same yesterday, today, and forever? And if he is, then how is compromise a strategy? It's not a strategy, it's wholesale surrender.

The human brain has 100 billion neurons, each neuron connected to 10 thousand other neurons. Sitting on your shoulders is the most complicated object in the known universe.

Running provides an outlet for my mind to relax and my peace to be still.