So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there's no way you're gonna find out what it means.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

I've still never gotten behind the defense and been caught.

You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.

A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.

Oh, Ma, you're looking at all the trees, and I'm not even in the forest.

If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.

Well, I know that 500,000 children died in Iraq because of the embargo.

No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.

Psychopaths don't have that charming skill set. They definitely manipulate, but they do it through focused, unskilled means. They're more obsessive.

I am very comfortable with the idea that we can override biology with free will.

Culture is like a smog. To live within it, you must breathe some of it in and, inevitably, be contaminated.