So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.

Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.

When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches.

All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!

Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.

Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.

Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.

Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.

I don't believe in hate. To me it wastes too much time. People who hate waste so much of their life hating that they miss out on all the other stuff out here.

Tell few about your dreams and show the rest in the way you make a life with it.

Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy.

Everyone picked on me in school because I was in foster care.

Every donation received is a potential negative ad. Vetting money is just as important as raising it.

I'm sorry, I just did a shot

Wars of small kingdoms and forgotten lands, what do chessmen dream of in the dark?

Often, warriors find their lives meaningless.

Many Syrians understand that the only option that exists is the option of peace, which means the option of compromise, .. Nobody can have 100 percent of his desires. He must compromise.

Women are fully capable of doing everything.