Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.

The villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.

Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.

First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.

People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they’d never admit in normal conversation.

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you plan the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow.

The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

For there is never anything but the present, and if one cannot live there, one cannot live anywhere.

I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage.

No matter what the people say, I'm gonna love you anyway. Girl, you're my first love.

Quoting, like smoking, ... is a dirty habit to which I am devoted. But then ... I am a professor of English literature; it is an occupational hazard.

In practical life the wisest and soundest people avoid speculation.

If there were a people consisting of gods, they would be governed democratically. So perfect a government is not suitable to men.

Hail universal Lord, be bounteous still To give us only good; and if the night Have gathered aught of evil or concealed, Disperse it, as now light dispels the dark.

I think if a book has the power to move a reader, it also has the power to offend a reader. And you want your books to have power, so you just have to take what comes with that.

Trapped for days, years, centuries maybe. Dead, but not allowed to die. Alive, but as good as dead. So alone that anyone, anything no matter how loathsome would be welcome.

The trouble with being a priest was that you eventually had to take the advice you gave to others.