Some days you tame the tiger. And some days the tiger has you for lunch.

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste.

Some days you tame the tiger, and some days the tiger has you for lunch.

Ten million years from now, when then sun burns out and the Earth is just a frozen iceball hurtling through space, nobody's going to care whether or not I got this guy out.

What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.

Kids should practice autographing baseballs. This is a skill that's often overlooked in Little League.

I have no trouble with the twelve inches between my elbow and my palm. It's the seven inches between my ears that's bent.

Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed.

We called Pete Rose and Larry Bowa the soup spoons, because they were always stirring things up. Twenty years later, nothing's changed.

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

When I come into a game in the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, no one out and a one-run lead ... it takes people off my mind.

Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.

In a relationship, no amount of extra effort on your part can make up for a lack of effort on theirs.

Parents aren't the people you come from. They're the people you want to be, when you grow up.

Everyone must correct his own self; this is something more difficult to cope with, but it is not impossible.

From a distance it is something; and nearby it is nothing.

At twenty-five, girls begin to talk about being old maids, but secretly resolve that they never will. At thirty, they say nothing about it, but quietly accept the fact.

The only weapons I ever had were my cello and my baton.

Capabilities are clearly manifested only when they have been realized.

He who must needs have company, must needs have sometimes bad company.

My mind works in idleness. To do nothing is often my most profitable way.