Some folks can look so busy doing nothin' that they seem indispensable.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Knowledge is the key driver of the progress of civilization.

It's a damn good story. If you have any comments, write them on the back of a check.

If one discards the Bible as being unreliable, then he must discard almost all literature of antiquity.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

The Divine is the sea. All religions are rivers leading to the sea. Some rivers wind a great deal. Why not go to the sea directly?

To live, is to suffer; and the honest man is always fighting to be master of his own mind.

I say to my child, I will explain to you as much of life as I can, but you must remember that there is a part of life for which you are the explanation.

Meaningful work, not welfare, is every American's hope, and we have a continuing responsibility to make those hopes a lasting reality.

Open the gates of wisdom, tear the veil of ignorance, enter the abode of Divine Bliss. Rest in peace forever.

In this world laws are written for the lofty aim of "the common good" and then acted out in life on the basis of the common greed.