Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

No one, on his deathbed, ever regretted having been a Catholic.

Life is the ultimate artistic masterpiece, and it's up to you, the creator, to make it as wildly dazzling as possible.

These feelings...the ugly feelings in my heart...should have been blown away...and buried deep in the sands...

The greater the state, the more wrong and cruel its patriotism, and the greater is the sum of suffering upon which its power is founded.

Labor is the true standard of value.

One of the things is challenging yourself to do a Rome show when everybody's done a Rome show. To find some aspect of food culture or chef culture that people can look at in a new way.

It's peaceful for people to know how their lives are going to be, pretty much.

If there is any law governing the distribution of income between classes, it still remains to be discovered.

Believing that you are the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus and simply receiving the gift of no condemnation gives you the power to go and sin no more.

The way of surviving is to find meaning in suffering.