Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

There is no such thing as a normal family so don't trip off it, just deal with it.

Yet, it's our emotions and imperfections that makes us human.

When I'm judging a theory, I ask myself whether, if I were God, I would have arranged the world in such a way.

My men can eat their belts, but my tanks have gotta have gas.

I am living my real life, this is it. Now is now, and if I waited to be happier, waited to have fun, waited to do the things that I know I ought to do, I might never get the chance.

Practical application is found by not looking for it, and one can say that the whole progress of civilization rests on that principle.

Law it is . . . which hears without ears, sees without eyes, moves without feet and seizes without hands.

Wilderness is not defined by the absence of certain activities, but rather by the presence of certain unique and invaluable characteristics.

Hit songs did not come out of musicals. Pop-rock was creating the hits. There were very few songs that made the charts out of any Broadway musical.

Fate is a quantity very much like TV: an unstoppable narrative, written, produced and directed by somebody else.