Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy.

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

Sometimes people are beautiful.Not in looks.Not in what they say.Just in what they are.

Watching large mammals living their ordinary life in the jungle is extraordinary

Live simply, share your wealth with others.

...it is crucial to realize that an once of student affairs administration prevention can stave off a pound of lawyers.

Sometimes I make myself laugh, but that's because I appreciate my sense of humor.

My only concern was to get home after a hard day's work.

Land of lost gods and godlike men.

But really, Marilla, one can't stay sad very long in such an interesting world, can one?

If you should ever acknowledge my existence, I plan to snub you.

Who are we but the stories we tell about ourselves, particularly if we accept them?