Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Grit is the persistence in following your own destiny

Thank you Earth for I've never known a better friend

- Why you?- (...) I’m the best.- Modest of you.- I am the best. Modesty has nothing to say about it.

Those who set out to serve both God and Mammon soon discover that there is no God.

Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

I believe that often people even stay in bad relationships longer than they should because the fear of the pain of dating is scarier than the pain of a bad relationship!

For me, going to London is like coming home. In fact, I've often entertained the idea of ending my days there.

Any place I hang my head is home.

I'm still getting to the good part / the breaking down / learning how to write my story.

I know it sounds corny, but I’d love to improve people’s lives, especially socially… Making the world more open is not an overnight thing. It’s a ten-to-fifteen-year thing.