Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

Don't ever go on a diet. Just don't. Walk away. Diets are the spawn of Satan.

I've done so many hip-hop albums already I got tired of just hip-hop.

It appears to me impossible that I should cease to exist, or that this active, restless spirit, equally alive to joy and sorrow, should be only organized dust.

One of my assistants, a British man, says I should find a platform for [cosmetic industry]. Meanwhile I wear make-up.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer.

If you let a person talk long enough you'll hear their true intentions. Listen twice, speak once.

Sometimes we become bound by other people's thoughts because we are not sure about ourselves.

I am sure that all complaints regarding me were initiated from Ukraine.