Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it's not offensive, it's funny?

I became very critical of zoos and circuses and keeping animals in captivity. I wish it was against the law.

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.

I'm better off not socializing. I make a better impression if I'm not around.

At its best, life is completely unpredictable.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

No, improvising is wonderful. But, the thing is that you cannot improvise unless you know exactly what you're doing.

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about.

We have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible.

I play so many villains and strange, troubled people. I don't have that kind of life. I live in the country. I've been married nearly 50 years. I have a cat.

My father was a lesson. He had his own bakery, and it was closed one day a week, but he would go anyway. He did it because he really loved his bakery. It wasn't a job.

The interior of the arms dealer's private jet was so ugly it hurt my feelings as well as my eyeballs.

It's my job in Hollywood to find roles where I get to be a character not a bathing suit.

I need to be the best Chris Brown I can be.

I'm not so great at keeping secrets; maybe that's why no one ever tells me things.

I understand polyamory is different from polygamy, and doesn't share the latter's rigid and noxious views that men run the show and are the only ones allowed multiple partners.

But why allow someone to make a bad choice when a little information might engender a better one? It's hard to wake up and see the sun if the blinds are pulled.

When human statecraft attaches a chain to the feet of a free man, whom it makes a slave in contempt of nature and citizenship, eternal justice rivets the other end about the tyrant's neck.

I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.

I believe myself to be an artist. That was my calling, to do my work, and what's most important to me is to do the best work I possibly can. And that is what means the most, that is what will endure.

Every great team that I've been on, the offensive linemen was the bell cows of the whole team.