Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco

When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

We tend to view ourselves as this, lying in contradiction with everything that is not ourselves, that.

As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

Look . . . at . . . me. . . .

I'm 52 years old and blindness has been the single hardest thing I deal with every minute of every day.

…Perhaps this momentary life of ours is only the light that divides our infinite origin from our infinite end.

Once, I took a taxi. I hate those limousines. They stink and their drivers have been driving dead people to the cemeteries.

I'm a lot easier to work with now than I have been in the past, for sure.

Force yourself to reflect on what you read, paragraph by paragraph.

Ah, what a sign it is of evil life, Where death's approach is seen so terrible!