Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.

As the poets say, stories are truth told through lies.

Old houses mended

The discovery of dance has changed my life in unimaginable ways.

I would have been content with still playing Inmate #1. I worked on every prison movie made, from 1985 to 1991. I would go from movie to movie to movie.

If you give up the guilt, that's a huge load off your shoulders.

Barnes & Noble CEO William Lynch just announced that he is stepping down after three years. When asked if he's looking for a new job, he was like, 'Nah, just browsing.'

I've heard Eric Clapner, ... I think it was a wonderful thing that Eric Clapner the musician did...So I think that's the wonderful part about it, but listen - I like Eric Clapner!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas; Soon the bells will start, And the thing that will make them ring Is the carol that you sing Right within your heart.

When I go onstage, I kind of turn into a beast sometimes, this alter-ego, you know.

When I read a good book, it's like traveling the world without ever leaving my chair.